My Green Epiphany

Ahh, peaceful...

I’ve been thinking…

In this age of fast results, the food that we eat is getting progressively less and less natural.  In most cases the ingredients are written on the wrapper… but rarely can I identify any of them.  At least with packaged items you can scan what goes into them and make an informed decision.  Not so with meat.  With the help of science they can grow a chicken from egg to adult in just over 6 weeks; a cow to adulthood in 7.5 minutes (I have no evidence to back up this claim).  I’ve decided I’m getting out.

From this day on, I am going completely free range – or as close to it as possible.  I am going to try hard to avoid purchasing pen-raised food.

Further, I filled up the 32-gallon tank on my truck last night and I came to a realization.  While my 1990 Chevy 1/2-ton truck has been a good vehicle for me for over a decade, I can not longer justify the wasteful 12-14 mpg it produces.  In the interests of both my wallet and the environment I am going to get a different vehicle as soon as my lazy butt gets a job finances allow.

I’ve made my decision, I will not be talked out of it.  As of today I vow that no less than 90% of the meat I consume will be 100% steroid-free, free range…

Mmm, yummy and natural*

…wild game.  Unlike farm-raised meat, these animals live a natural, fence-free life all the way until they become my dinner.

Also, as soon as it practicable, I plan to exchange my 1/2-ton Chevy for a….

Bigger is better

…MUCH larger Ford F-350 diesel.  It will provide twice the power (literally) with more passenger space, load capacity and at least 30% better fuel economy than my current truck (and probably 10% better than Sarah’s vehicle).

Did any of you actually think I was going to swallow the bitter Whole Foods/Prius pill?

Sometimes being responsible looks a bit different than the typical environmentalist would have you believe.  Anyone care to argue with my logic?

*For the record this is actually Tim’s pronghorn but I don’t have any good pictures of my best animals.

WikiWednesday: Yet another new twist

Ok, I decided that we should try a targeted Wikipedia Wednesday.  I think that in six steps we should be able to get from a starting entry to virtually any other in the database… the question is how.

I’ll give you 2 entries and you must get from one to the other in 6 steps (no less, no more).  In the event that this is too easy and everyone does it, the winner will be the person that gets there via the most circuitous route.

Let’s start with…

Bagel

…and see if you can get to…

Idi Amin

Today

I struggled to think of a topic today which wasn’t boilerplate (not that giving thanks is a tedious exercise – I just didn’t want to post on the topic), so I scanned the news and came across what I think is the strangest story for the week.  Ok, it’s probably the second strangest news, but still strange.

Google has been forced to come out and explain how a racist picture of Michelle Obama comes up when you search her name.  Is it just me or is this the biggest nontroversy of the week?  What is it about the term ‘world wide web’ that people don’t understand?  You sit at your desktop and ask the millions of trained monkeys* at Google (I don’t believe that they use actual computers to locate results) to find the sites, images, videos, etc. within a set search criteria.  They (the monkeys I mean) cruise around the entirety of the internet very quickly and give you anything that fits your criteria.  The monkeys don’t care if it’s what you want to see… they just give you what you asked for within the parameters you outlined.

Why must Google explain that they aren’t responsible for the results they return?  IT’S YOUR SEARCH!  Further, why must they (the monkeys and their trainers) be blamed for the idiots who post items to the interwebs and how said idiots tag these items?

In all seriousness, the algorithms used cannot and should not filter items on this basis.  Just because something is moronic and insulting doesn’t mean that it’s damaging to the searcher.  The potential damage (and potential for misuse) of trying to filter these type of items far outweighs the harm done.

The search that yielded this photo simply answered the vital question of “Are there idiots who understand photoshop and have access to the internet?”

*In keeping with the spirit of this festive day, I am thankful that Wikimedia had a stock image of a monkey on a computer for this post.

Wikipedia Wednesday: Return of the original

Today we’re going back to the original rules of WikiWednesday (see the sidebar link for the explanation) so get as crazy as possible with…

 

Beelzebub

 

 

H1N1 Grandpa

Aww, how sweet.

I was just looking through my list of unfinished drafts and came across this picture.  I’m not sure why I didn’t post it cause it’s funny.  Even with the H1N1 scare dying down a bit, it’s pretty topical.

For the record, my dad was just feeling a little fluish and it turned out to be nothing serious.  What the pic doesn’t show is that he made me wear a mask the day before.

Confessions of a serial Matty

George Washington crosses the Delaware mixed with a little metro hippie

Occasionally I notice things about myself that I’m convinced are what makes me, me.  Some are unique to me and some are things that I realize but don’t usually share.  Here’s a few that have been on my mind.

• To this day (tested as recently as Friday night) I am uncomfortable being the most dressed up person at any event…. even being in a 3-way tie for most dressed up.  I’m not even so good with being in the top half.
• Somedays I can’t decide if I struggle more with vanity or self-criticism.
• I like greenery – regardless of type.  I love the emerald tropics.  I like the lawns in the south which are lush, green, manicured… weeds.  Colorado just doesn’t have an abundance of natural green.  I guess it feels exotic.
• Took Ritalin for ADD (which presumably I had as it wasn’t very popular back then) and yet I often ignore all else while watching a mindless TV commercial – does that sound like a deficit of attention?
• I’m pretty low-conflict but I apparently look and carry myself in such a way that people think I’m challenging them.  My young adult life is rife with stories of people seeing me as a threat and starting stuff.  Thankfully…
• …I have a very long fuse… most of the time.  It takes quite a bit to move me to anger and then even more to push to violence.  Losing in soccer has proved to be the exception to that rule.
• Anywhere I’ve worked I have inexplicably, uncontrollably hoarded duct tape, extension cords/power strips, and Sharpies.
• I’ll probably never understand why everyone but me thinks that camouflage – particularly urban camo – doesn’t match everything.
• Even as an adult I still don’t like to step on cracks — especially while running.  If I’m running on a track I will wear myself out trying to avoid any and all lines.
• Taking out my tongue studs – yes, I take them out sometimes – usually makes me lisp for a few minutes.  On the bright side it allows me to pronounce Russian and Spanish R’s.
• I *very* rarely miss my drinking days but I do occasionally pine for that peaceful, easy feeling of nursing a tumbler of scotch on the rocks.
• I don’t really like losing blood.  Consciously I don’t have a problem with it but I have a history of poor performances giving blood and getting a little light-headed about moderate wounds – despite my rational mind telling me I’m fine.  The real problem is that my reaction is impossible to predict.  I passed out and had a seizure while giving a vial of blood but did admirably through the ax->foot instance.

I don’t know, are these that unique?  What are your most unique quirks?  What makes us, us?

Line of the Day: Henning Wehn

I always say, why did my grandfather cross the road?  To occupy France…  I’m off to the border.

-German comedian Henning Wehn from BBC Radio’s Fighting Talk about France’s punishment for cheating their way to the World Cup.

Hope Center Update November ‘09

This is the latest edition of our News From Hope Center.  It highlights a few of those who have been recipients of humanitarian aid from Hope Center.

Humanitarian Aid and Outside Programs

During the course of the year many resources are sent out from the Hope Center and many programs are implemented by our staff, but it is the people that these resources and programs touch that are the most important.  They are the reason behind it all, and we would like to invite you into the lives of three people touched within our community.

Alexander, village of Lipnitovka

Alexander was born in 1941 in Russia but later moved to a village outside of Kerch named Lipnitovka.  During the Soviet times, Alexander worked on the fields driving a tractor.  However, after the collapse of the Soviet Union, the village lost its ability to farm the fields, leaving Alexander unemployed.  The intense stress of struggling to provide for his wife and daughter led him to drinking and smoking excessively.  By 2005, his body could not keep up with the abuse and became paralyzed.

In 2008, diabetes had affected his body so much that he had to have his toes and later his whole leg amputated.  Alexander and his wife heard about Global Action’s activities in the community and began to hope that maybe he too would be able to receive some help. Our staff member, Gala who is very active in meeting the needs in this particular village, brought him a wheelchair.  Not only was he able to move around within his small house for the first time in a long time, but he also was able to hear about God.  In 2009, he was blessed to receive an electric wheelchair and is now able to interact outside of his home.  His experience with machinery has helped him greatly and he already drives the small vehicle as well as his old tractor.  He visits the local church and is grateful for his new life.  His wife expressed how hard it was for her to take care of him prior to receiving the wheelchairs.  She told us with great emotion, “I don’t know what I could have done without your help!”

Alexander

Tatiana, Kerch

Tatiana Papova was born in 1977 and led an active life working as a nurse in a nearby hospital.  In 2001, Tatiana delivered her first child, however complications arose during the delivery causing her legs to not function properly.  Within four months of her daughter’s birth, Tatiana was completely paralyzed in both legs leaving her bound to a wheelchair.  In 2003, she underwent surgery, hoping to return the use of her legs but the operation was unsuccessful.  More advanced surgeries are available in the capital city of Kiev, however these are much too expensive for her family to afford.  Tatiana expressed to Global Action that she dreamt of having a computer so that she could help her husband in supporting the needs of their family.  Global Action was able to supply her with her own computer this week.  Whereas before Tatiana felt helpless, she now has a purpose and a way to give back to her family.

Tatiana

Maria, village of Chistopolya

Maria Goncharenka, originally from Moldova, moved to the small village of Chistopolia 50 years ago.  She worked very hard at the train station while raising her son and daughter on her own.  Both children have made poor decisions, abusing alcohol and never getting along with each other or their long-suffering mother.  The daughter began using drugs and became so depressed that she later committed suicide.  Her son is still alive and continues to live with her, but he has become very abusive and often beats her.  So bad is the violence that she sometimes is forced to find somewhere else to sleep.  Last winter Maria even had to sleep outside a few times because her home is not a safe place for her.  Gala heard of Maria’s story and began searching for help.  Global Action supplies humanitarian aid to a hospital in Bagerovo, a neighboring village to Maria’s, and Gala earnestly requested for someone from this hospital to personally go to Maria and take her medicine and clothing.  Gala and Jenya also continue to take food to her once a week, talk to her about Jesus, and invite her to attend the local church in her village.

Maria

We are immensely grateful that we are allowed to meet some of the physical needs of these people with the resources that have been donated to the Hope Center.  It is our hope and our prayer that as we continue to distribute aid items in the local communities we will have even more opportunities to impact lives and exemplify Christ’s love.

“In the same way let your light shine before men, that they might see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:16

You’re Welcome

Do midgets have night vision?

Consider this my weekend before Thanksgiving Weekend present.  Autocompleteme.com is easily the second funniest thing I’ve seen today (right behind comedian Mike Birgiblia’s incessant flirting with Starbuck’s Twitter account).

You can even play autocomplete at home, by yourself… of course, that would make you an addict.

Classic comment

I just caught this via Twitter on the 22-words blog…

The question posed was:

Surely, everybody’s cell has rung at an inopportune time.

The question is, did you learn your lesson, or are you continually surprised?

To which a guy named Kevin Ring responded:

My phone rang during a Consistory meeting once. I looked and it was my wife who was very pregnant at the time. Knowing she knew I was in the meeting I assumed it was urgent so I excused myself and took the call.

She said, “Um, do you think on your way home you could go by McD and get me a hot fudge sundae?”

I learned my lesson and have not impregnated her since.